Closing The Curtain Part Two: When Letting Go Means Learning...

          For some people, letting go of the past (and the people in it) is an easy thing to do. For others, letting go can be the harddest thing in the world.  We have to, in order to let go, in order to let go of someone, learne what it means to let go, learn how to let go, and most importantly, learn from letting go.  So what does it mean to truly "Let Go"?  Letting go means releasing YOURSELF from the emotional hold someone has over your life. You see, we often times think that letting go means simply releasing the other person from your grasp...that alone won't get it. Releasing them from your grasp without releasing yourself from the emotional hold they have over you is kind of like giving the cashier one dollar for your 99cent purchase and then asking for your penny back.....why?!?  Holding on to that penny is only reminding you of a dollar you no longer have. Let them keep the damn change!!! Allowing them to keep the change is releasing yourself from the emotional hold of the other person. That is how you can begin to let go...by not wanting that penny; by not wanting the memory of something you no longer have.
          Another fact about letting go that we must realize is that it IS NOT PAINLESS. But we must welcome that pain because with pain comes growth. We can't learn from what we don't experience and we can't grow from what we haven't learned.  Letting go, no matter how hard it is or how much pain it causes us, teaches us that we arent perfect.  It teaches us that we don't have all the answers and that we can't solve every problem....and that's ok.  It's ok to be wrong about things because when we are wrong, we present ourselves with opportunity to grow and to learn.  We are able to look within ourselves and say "hey, I can work on this...I need to change that." We are able to identify what helped us along the way and what hurt us along the way; as well as what helped and what hurt the other person.
          Learning from letting go isn't as simple as it may seem.  We, as learners, have to be cautious as to what it is exactly we're learning from letting go.  We tend to surround oursleves with those people who, appearingly, want to aid us in the "learning process".  They tell us what to do, what to think, what not to do, what not to think, and so forth and so on.  We allow ourselves, because we are hurt, to let our "friends" learn for us.  Although this may seem like a good idea, because it eases the pain and gives us momentary comfort, its not a good idea.  Because at this point we have stopped learning from letting go but have instead began learning from our friend's ideals of relationships.  Thats when growing becomes hard.
          Learning is hard work.  It's painful, it's tiring, and sometimes you get cut in the process.  But you know what, living is hard work as well.  You wouldn't stop breathing at the expense of living; so why stop learning at the expense of growing?  This is when letting go means learning.
--Think About It.

Closing The Curtain Part One: When Loving Means Letting Go...

     There is much more to relationships than we most time realize...or WANT to realize. What i believe most of us sometimes forget to do when caring for others, is to remember to care for ourselves.  We get so lost in the art of giving and providing that we neglect the art of self-maintaining.  This happens on BOTH ends of the relationship, and its at this point that the relationship gets strained.  He feels like she doesn't appreciate him. She feels he doesn't listen to or communicate well with her. Both feel like the love is not there. So what do you do when you reach this point in the relationship? Do you continue to try? Do you just sit back and wait to see if the situation works itself out? Or do you just give up and walk away? Most times, a pattern develops that includes all three. First, we continue to try. Then we sit back and wait to see if everything works itself out. Then finally, one of us gives up and simply walks away. I was once told by someone very close to me that anyone who walks out of your life wasn't destined by God to be there for the duration anyway. Interesting way of looking at things. What do you think???

               Everyone is definitely put in our lives for a reason(purpose), a season, or a lifetime.  Sometimes, what we must understand is that they aren't so much put in our lives to light our way, but we are, in fact, put i their lives to help light their way.  We also need to understand that when a reason or purpose has been fulfilled, and when that season is about to change, that we must ACCEPT THE DIFFERENCE...or most importantly, let them go.  So how do you know when that reason/purpose has been fulfilled, or when that season is about to change? My opinion on how you know is that it begins to seem like nothing you do seems to satisfy them anymore, and nothing they do seems to satisfy you anymore. When every conversation turns into an argument, when every action is questioned, and when every step taken is on "eggshells", thats a very good indication that the season is coming to an end, if not already so.  Everything worth having requires work...working towards it to not only achieve it, but to also sustain it; and having a healthy and fulfilling relationship is no different. Workers don't give up and those who do weren't in it for you in the first place.  I've heard many people say they just didn't have anymore left to give, or they were tired.  Well, i've learned that you're never too tired to do what you want to do and you make time for what you want to make time for. 

               Love is always being mistaken as being "enough" to hold a relationship together. Love alone won't get it. It takes work, commitment, sacrifice, and dedication (along with many other important variables) to make a relationship work. But in the end, when all else fails, love is there to remind us that the act of loving in itself IS NOT selfish. We are reminded that expressing love does require not only the ability to hold onto what we both want and believe in, but it also requires the ability and the strength to let go of what we want and believe in. This is when loving means letting go. 

    Think About It!